neither here, nor there

floating somewhere inbetween.

not entirely lost, but a clear path would be nice.

rocks and stones thrown at me from various angles,

i dodge some, but others hit right at me.

sleeping soundly, vivid dreams

not wanting to wake up.

the mornings are a true struggle

so i sleep through them.

existing, not really living.

i've been busy, but not by other peoples standards. i'm busier now than i have been in years and it feels kinda good. but still, i'm not doing enough according to some people around me.

my classes have started and they're going pretty well. though in class i feel quite detatched - floating, almost. i'm learning a lot about mental health and even my own condition. sometimes it hits quite close to home, but i've got to expect that. a girl in my class talks a lot about her own experiences, but i prefer to keep quiet. i'm not breaking down barriers to impress or stun.

medications have been all over the place. i'm not taking them exactly as prescribed, but that's my perogative. i see my doctor every so often and he says he's happy with the way i'm going.

i just wish i was happy too.